How to Check on Someone Who’s Grieving
We all know emotions are running high after a loved one has passed away. Sometimes though you may not be directly affected by the death of a loved one, you can be close to who it does affect and not want to be a burden. Chances are, the person you know who is grieving appreciates your help more than you may know and may not have the courage or energy to even ask for it. As long as you remain sensitive to the feelings of the grieving person, you can really do no wrong.
Even if you are unsure of what to say, or fear you may say the wrong thing, the person you are contacting who is grieving is going to care much more about the fact that you made an effort as opposed to not checking on them at all. The best way to do this is to just to remain present, remind them you are there to comfort them, and after having checked in with and on them, you will have a better sense of their grief and probably be able to assess what you can do to be there for them.
Request to Chat
It’s okay to ask someone who is grieving if they’d like to speak about the experience or not. Though it may seem like a bother or be extremely obvious to you, a simple reminder that you are there for them can be extremely helpful and prompt them to open up about their feelings or thoughts during this time. Also, this leaves them without feeling the need they will have to muster up the courage and energy it takes to reach out for support when they need it. Questions like, “Do you feel like talking about it?,” will get you much further along…you should avoid asking the person who’s grieving, “How are you?”
You can make plans to engage in some activities you know they like, to show your support. For example, if your friend or family member that highly enjoys quilting is grieving the lost of a loved one or someone very close to them, perhaps getting them a gift card to visit a new quilt shop or taking them to visit one may make a world of difference to them. Though this definitely won’t take their pain away, this is a meaningful way to show your love and support for them. You can even offer to help them with specific tasks like preparing dinner for them or offer to watch their children or pet so they can have some time alone. This gesture goes a long way. Even just running errands with them may be a good way to help them through this process.
Overall, understanding someone can be difficult, death or not. During someone’s period of grieving, they may also not even be able to understand themselves. It’s best to let them know they can react or feel however they need to; the body processes emotions and loss in various different ways and all of them are valid. For help or understanding of what to do next regarding funeral planning and honoring a loved one through memorial, Monuments of Victoria is here for you.